Five Times Erin Thought She Was Pregnant, and the One Time She Was
by pandorabox82
Summary: Erin knew that it was probably a pipe dream, but ever since she ended up with Aaron Hotchner, she had found herself wanting only one thing - to have his child. Will that dream come true for her?


**Valentine's Day**

Erin gazed at Aaron across the table. It had been a long six months, but they had found their way to each other, and somehow made a relationship thrive. And now, she was hoping that she could give him good news on this romantic night. She knew that being fifty and pregnant were not two things that necessarily went together, but she wanted to give this gift to Aaron, if at all possible.

"Penny for your thoughts, Rin?"

She let out a little sigh and shook her head. "I'm just daydreaming over here. Jack was so sweet to make supper for us, that I just wish…" Erin let her voice trail off, not wanting to give voice to her hopes of what the pregnancy tests might tell them.

"There are a lot of things that I wish, too, Erin. Namely that you would do me the honor of being my wife."

Her head shot up, and she looked at his outstretched hand. There, on the palm, was an antique ring, and she delicately plucked it up, sliding it in place on her ring finger. It fit perfectly, and she let out a tiny 'Oh' as she gazed at the star sapphire winking back at her. "Yes, Aaron."

He gave her a small smile as he slipped off his chair and came around to her side, pressing his lips to her temple before lifting her chin and giving her a tender kiss. "I am so glad that you came back to us. And I'm glad that you chose me."

"I could say the same for you," she whispered as she kissed him once more. "Now, if you want to take dessert out to the living room, I'll be along in a few minutes."

He gave her an absent nod, and she scooted her chair back and stood up, making her way to the downstairs bathroom. Taking a deep breath, she rummaged around in the cabinet beneath the sink and pulled out a pregnancy test.

Erin found that her legs couldn't keep still as she waited for the results, and when the negative sign popped up, she sighed disconsolately. She wasn't pregnant, her period was just late that month. Shaking her head, she wrapped the test up in some toilet paper and tossed it in the trash, putting on a placid smile as she made her way out to Aaron in the living room.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked, true concern tinging his voice.

"Yeah, I am. Ooh, is that cheesecake?" she replied, trying to turn his attention away from her and she gave him a small smile as he nodded. "Wonderful." She sank down onto the sofa next to him, cuddling up close as she tried not to mourn for something that wasn't meant to be. And it wasn't like they couldn't try again.

"I love you, you know."

"I do, just as much as I love you." She took the plate from his hand and dug into the sugary confection, using it to take her mind off the news that she had just found out. Though tonight might just be the night that they made a little brother or sister for Jack…

**Mother's Day**

"We all pitched in to get you this, Mama," Tabitha squealed as Jack held out a long, thin, box to her. "We hope that you like it."

"Mama likes anything that I get her." Jack placed his hands on his hips in a move that reminded Erin so of Aaron that she had to giggle a little as she slipped her nail beneath the tape and carefully removed the wrapping paper to reveal a familiar blue box. "Though Aunt Penelope said that this was always the way to a woman's heart."

Erin glanced up at her fiancé, feeling tears begin to prickle her eyes. "And did Aaron help out at all?" she whispered, knowing that if she were to raise hero voice, it would only break and crack with tears.

"No, I did not. I have a separate gift for my love." His gentle smile calmed her and she took a deep breath as she slid the necklace box out of the paper and opened the lid.

"Oh, is this a birthstone necklace?" she breathed out, touching each of the four stones in turn. They were in order of birth, and Jack was the last, with a brilliant opal that caught the light so brightly. "This is lovely," she said as she unclasped the chain and held it behind her neck, fumbling to close it.

Aaron stepped close and soon the necklace was secure around her neck, the gemstones resting close to her heart. "Those look beautiful, Rin," he murmured in her ear before kissing her cheek softly. She smiled as Jack made a slight face at the display of affection, a light laugh trilling from her lips. "All right, should I give Erin my gift now?"

Jack nodded excitedly, and she wondered if he had helped his father pick out this gift as well. Aaron gave her an indulgent smile as he set a thick package down on the table. "Penelope helped us with this one, too. She's so amazing with the internet. And she's promised to help teach me code this summer, too. She thinks I'm smart enough to start writing my own programs in six weeks or less."

Erin nodded as she started to unwrap Aaron's gift to her. The gasp that tore from her lips actually hurt as the cover of the book was revealed to her. "Aaron?"

"So, Penelope is really good at digging, and she noticed that you mentioned this book quite a bit on Facebook and that you'd quoted it at times in emails. It made sense to buy this for you."

She shook her head. "No, Aaron. This is a ridiculously extravagant gift. I know how much a first edition _Persuasion_ goes for, since I've had it on my wish list for decades, and could never justify the expense."

"Well, we can't send it back, all sales were final. I guess that this means it was finally time that it came home to you." This time, Aaron kissed her on the lips, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close as the kiss lingered on.

"Are you guys always going to be this mushy?" Jack asked, staring at his father.

"Probably for a little while yet, yes. Now, why don't you head into the dining room, and I'll help Bruce bring out the cake and ice cream."

"Yes!" Jack punched the air with excitement before taking hold of Erin's hand and dragging her to the other room. "You have to sit at the head of the table, Mama," he said as he pulled out his chair for her.

"I will, Jack, I just have to use the restroom a minute." He nodded and plopped down in the chair at her right hand, watching her leave.

This time, she really thought that she could be pregnant, since her breasts were a little sore, and her period was six weeks late. The idea that on Mother's Day, of all days, she could find out if she was pregnant once more made her smile sweetly as she closed herself in the bathroom.

The moment she lowered her panties, though, she knew that her hopes were not to be. The spots of blood told her of the start of her period, and she heaved a deep sigh as she peed and then affixed a panty liner to catch the blood. Standing, she washed her hands and stared at her image in the mirror.

"Maybe it is just a pipe dream," she murmured before taking a steadying breath and making her way out to the living room where her family was waiting for her.

**Father's Day**

Erin had made certain that she was up earlier than normal, since it was Father's Day. True, it had only been a month since Mother's Day, and it was highly unlikely that she had gotten pregnant in such a short time. Though it wasn't from lack of trying, she thought with a slight blush as she stepped into the bathroom.

Hanging her clothes on the back of the door, she took the pregnancy test before stripping off her nightgown and stepping into the shower. As the warm water streamed down on her, she closed her eyes and rested her hands on her stomach. It was so easy to imagine her belly swelling with Aaron's baby, her body changing and making room for new life. And she let herself cry for the missed opportunities that had happened in the last four months.

After washing her hair, she let herself relax and daydream for a few more minutes before turning the water off and shaking the excess water from her body. The mirror had steamed up a little, and she wiped it off with a towel before drying herself off. Erin took a long look at herself in the mirror, noticing new lines and creases at the corner of her eyes that hadn't been there last year. With a soft sigh, she applied her makeup with a soft hand, knowing that Aaron preferred her with a more natural look.

Knowing that she was just delaying the inevitable, Erin picked up the test and closed her eyes, willing it to read positive. Opening her eyes, she tried not to cry as the test once more told her that she was not with child. "There's still time," she said sadly as she wrapped the test in toilet paper and tossed it in the bin before dressing.

Going down to the kitchen, she saw that Jack was up and puttering around in the kitchen. "Oh, good morning, Mama. I was hoping to bring you and Dad breakfast in bed."

She gave him an easy smile as she reached into the fridge and pulled out the carton of orange juice. "I was planning on doing that myself, especially since my children are with their own father today."

"No, go and wake him up, I'll make something for you both."

She was taken aback at how grown up and very much like Aaron he sounded in that moment, and she gave him a tiny nod before pouring herself a glass of juice and making her way back up to their bedroom.

Opening the door, she smiled to see that Aaron was still dead to the world, his features smooth and relaxed in sleep. As she settled back down on the bed, she reached out and stroked his face, wanting to watch him wake up.

He did so slowly, as if he knew that he was safe. "Aaron," she whispered in his ear, before pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. As she made herself comfortable against the headboard, he turned to her, giving her a tender, searching, look.

"What did it say today?"

"I'm sorry?" she asked, feeling her heart begin to pound.

"I'm a profiler, Rin. I know what you've been hoping for. And you didn't hide the tests very well. We could try fertility treatments, if another baby means that much to you."

Any attempt at holding her tears back fled in that moment as she shrugged and closed her eyes. "I just want you to have another baby. I know that if I want this badly enough, it will happen, with or without medical intervention."

His hand cupped her face and she prepared for the kiss that was coming. His lips felt so comfortable that she couldn't help but melt against him. "I love you, Rin. And if this is what you truly want, we'll try until you're pregnant. And then I'll wait on you hand and foot until the baby arrives."

"That actually sounds quite wonderful, Aaron. Oh, how I love you." She went to kiss him once more when the bedroom door opened and Jack came in, carrying a tray filled with pancakes, syrup, and a pitcher of milk.

"Enough with the PDA! I brought you food." They both laughed at the tone in his voice, and the gentle reassurance in Aaron's touch had her once more dreaming of a black haired little child, who would bind them closer together.

**Fourth of July**

The explosions of color overhead never failed to fill Erin's heart with wonder and happiness. Tonight, though, it seemed like all the patriotic music that was played, all the fireworks that were going off, were just telling her one thing – she was once again not expecting Aaron's child.

She had taken the pregnancy test that morning, even though less than two weeks had passed between Father's Day and today. He knew without asking why she was so sad, and had insisted on taking her, Jack, and Jessica to the Lawn so that they could watch the fireworks while having a picnic. Somehow, he'd managed to get them somewhat close to the shell, and she had smiled to hear Jack so excited.

Jessica handed her a fresh water bottle, and she unscrewed it and took a long drag before replacing the cap and thumping back on the blanket, staring up at the sky and watching the lights of the city mingle with the lights of the fireworks.

"Jack managed to find someone selling cotton candy, and we brought you some back," Aaron said as he stretched out next to her. She accepted the sugary confection from his hand and pulled off a long strand and thrust it into her mouth as she rested her head on his chest.

"Thank you, honey," she whispered, cuddling in close. "I started again this morning. I had thought that maybe, maybe, I had taken the test too early on Father's Day, but I was wrong."

Erin hated the fact that she was tearing up, and she turned her face so that it was hidden in the fabric of her beloved's shirt. "Hey, it hasn't been that long at all. Relax and try to focus on what makes you happy."

Aaron pressed his lips to the side of her head, and she sighed a little before rubbing her cheek against his chest. "Being with you makes me happy, Aaron."

"Good." She trilled out a little laugh as he tickled her side, something that she wished she hadn't told him about. He always used that to break her out of her funk. "I love this march."

"It's so quiet, though."

"That's because they're singing right now. In a few moments, they'll be whistling, too. I think it's called the Cheerio March. The band played it a few times, and it never failed to make me smile."

This new story made her smile and Erin spooned up a little closer to his side, wanting there to be as little space between them as possible. "When we have a child, we're starting her on piano lessons when she turns five. And we'll let her pick another instrument to play. I loved my lessons so, and I wish that I had continued on with music after I graduated high school."

"I hope she picks the bassoon," Aaron murmured as the song came to a close and another began.

"Why?"

Aaron shrugged a little as he began to play with the ends of her hair. "When I was little, Mom played Peter and the Wolf a lot. It was the only thing that Sean liked to listen to, and I fell in love with the instrument that represented the grandfather. When I asked, Mom said that it was the bassoon, but there was no way that I was going to play something as sissy as that. If I wanted to be in band, I would play trumpet or trombone."

She let out a discontented sigh as she began to play with the buttons on his shirt. "We will never box our child in like that. Whatever she wants to do, she'll do."

"Why are you so fixated on the idea that we'll have a girl?"

"Because I've had two already." She smiled as she imagined having a daughter with Aaron's dark hair and her light eyes. "And she will be absolutely perfect, no matter what anyone else might say."

**Thanksgiving**

"Thank you for having me over today, Erin. I know I'm a bit of a third wheel here, but I had nowhere else to go. I'm still reeling a little from Sam breaking up with me."

Erin smiled tiredly at Penelope as she let the woman inside. It was going to be hard to keep up the act of being cheerful, when she had just gotten another negative pregnancy test. But with Jessica and Penelope over for the holiday, she had to keep up appearances. "We are more than glad to have you here with us," she said as she took the pumpkin pie from the woman's outstretched hands.

"Any time that I can spend with Hotch and his family is wonderful." The smile on Penelope's face was warm, and Erin found herself responding to it, returning it with equal warmth. And so, it was quite easy to let Penelope sling her arm around her waist as they went into the kitchen and set the pie on the counter next to the sugar cookies that Jack had made the day before. "I wish that you would have come with Hotch to the party at Rossi's a week ago. We all missed you there."

"I'm not really comfortable around everyone else, especially with Alex gone. They have little use for me alive, and I rather like the family that I've built with Aaron and our children."

Penelope took a deep breath, as if she was going to refute her words, but then she shook her head. "They're the ones who are missing out. And at least I get to be friends with you!"

"There is that, Penny." Unconsciously, Erin rested her hand on her stomach, and she wondered if the move would give away the desires of her heart. A deep sigh broke from her lips as she guided Penelope into the living room. She was relieved when the woman peeled off from her side and went over to Jessica, talking a mile a minute with her sister in law as Erin sank down on the sofa next to Aaron.

His arm came to rest on her shoulders, and an easy smile graced her lips as she let her head thump down on his chest, listening for his heartbeat. There was something so soothing about the steadiness of his heart, and she found her fingers tightening around the fabric of his shirt as Jack came over and regaled them with what he had learned at school during the last week.

"That's the timer on the oven going off," Aaron said lowly thirty minutes later as he prodded Erin to stand up. "If you ladies want to head into the dining room, Jack and I will bring the food to you."

Erin nodded before kissing him softly. There was a tenderness in his gaze that told her he knew that she had yet to make him a father once more, and she found herself tearing up. "Go, before you make me sob," she choked out and he nodded before kissing her once more and taking his leave.

"So, are you guys trying for a baby?" Penelope asked as she came up to her side, following her into the dining room.

"Yes," she said simply, and then she bit her lip, hard enough to draw blood, sharp enough to erase the sting of yet another failed month of trying. "It's not going so well."

"Well, I'm always here to talk to, okay? I know that you have your friends, and that they might be closer to you than I am, but I would do anything possible to help you obtain your heart's desire. Especially since I can't share in that joy myself. Auntie Penelope needs a new baby to spoil."

"Thank you," Erin managed to say before she started to cry, and then Penelope was hugging her tightly, letting her know that she had indeed found a dear and tender confidant for the dark days that she was certain to face in the months ahead.

**Easter**

She held her breath as she waited for the time to pass. Though there wasn't much time before church, Erin was hoping that she would be able to confirm what last month's pregnancy test had told her. A tiny flicker of hope had blossomed in her heart, but she had tried not to get too excited. This would confirm or dash her hopes, though, and she took a deep breath as she picked up the test.

"Erin? We have to leave in about five minutes. Are you feeling okay?"

Suddenly, she knew that she wanted her husband to read the results, to be the one to tell her the news, and she stood, heading over to the door and opening it, pulling him inside. "You have to read this for me. I think, I think…"

He understood completely, and guided her over to the edge of the bathtub, sitting with her as he took the pregnancy test from her hand. "How much longer until we have the results?"

"Maybe a minute. I lost count, because I was so nervous."

He nodded and scooted closer to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and holding her close. "This could be it, you know. This could be the answer we want."

"I know. And after last month…"

"Last month? Is there something that you were keeping from me?"

She shrugged a little. "I've had false positives before, darling. I didn't want to get my hopes up, so I waited one more month, just to be certain. So, what does it say?"

Aaron brought the test up so that he could read it, and she watched as a beautiful smile spread across his lips, wiping years off of his face. "It says that we're going to be parents, Erin. It is so fitting that we should find out we're having a baby on this day, of all days. Oh, Erin!"

He stood and pulled her into his arms, embracing her tightly and lifting her off her feet as he spun her around. "If you're not careful, darling, I'm going to throw up."

Aaron kissed her cheek soundly as he let her down, only to step back and stare into her eyes. "We're going to have a baby. I love you."

"I love you, too, Aaron. Now, let's head to church and celebrate all forms of new life." She clasped his hand tightly and let her husband lead her from the room. A wave of love swept over her heart as she laid eyes on Jack. She could not wait to tell him and her children about their new sibling at dinner that afternoon.


End file.
